Rivers, Hate, grief and rain

Rivers can not compare to the flow of tears upon my face
Greif is nothing close to what I feel anymore.
Hate does not touch upon the anger inside of me.
The strength inside is no longer enough
I hide my eyes so no one can see
The pain this brings to me
I hide from sight, afraid to be seen as weak
I'm not easily hurt, but even death takes a toll on one who says she tough as dirt.
Nine times I have tried, nine is so many, but yet so few
Nine times I have been saved, sometimes I wish it had been none